I had a re-e-eally weird dream the other night. I was lying in a casket\u2014dead, of course\u2014but in a nicely appointed room with all the flowers I like. My dress and hair were perfect, and friends and family were there\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But here\u2019s the weird part: there was this banner\u2026above the casket. And it read: \u201cHere Lies Snarky Bitch\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And everyone was going like this (nods her head up and down<\/em>). But not one person was doing this (nods her head side to side<\/em>) not one!<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was like a bobblehead convention!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I woke up startled. Lying there, shocked I asked myself \u2026why would anyone call me \u201ca snar\u2026\u2026.. (she drifts off a bit and whispers<\/em>) ky bitch\u201d And then I started to think about my life and some of those knee jerk \u201csnarky bitch\u201d moments and\u2014ohhh\u2026yeah. There was the New York cab driver thinking his way was better than mine\u2026okay, and the (grumbling<\/em>) bitch at the DMV.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then, one by one, the people I had no patience with, showed no consideration for, never meant to hurt, started to come to mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (almost ready to cry<\/em>) and I made a decision to change. Read up on it\u2026 and learned to count to 10 before I mouthed off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, I did. It\u2019s working!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yesterday I counted to 10\u2026 23 times (bares her fangs<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n (she muses out loud<\/em>) Wait.\u00a0 Shakespeare said it all. \u201cGlamis thou art and Cawdor too\u2026Yet I do fear thou lack the milk of human kindness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n (sudden realization<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s it! I guess I just sometimes \u201clack the milk of human kindness\u201d. Now don\u2019t judge me, please\u2026 hey! I\u2019m a work in progress, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a9Elisabeth Noone Writings (#102)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I had a re-e-eally weird dream the other night. I was lying in a casket\u2014dead, of course\u2014but in a nicely […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=663"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":671,"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663\/revisions\/671"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elisabethnoone.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}